Welcome

Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How My Nerdiness Affects Animals.

This post is a joke... but regardless... here goes...

For the records, I am a nerd. I completely love all things Lord of the Rings, and Starwars related. My boss, Amanda has a new puppy! Now bearing in mind my nerdiness, what do you think the first think I thought of upon seeing this puppy was?






















Now, if your guesses included:
 or


you were right!!!!



In my mind's eye... the puppy looks like this:
or


Just letting you know.
No, there's no real conclusion to this, I was just sharing.


Monday, March 21, 2011

Why Hair Dryers Put Me to Sleep

Damn you, Operant Conditioning.

   Just to provide you some insight before reading any further, my roommate is awesome. She is full of spunk and athletic prowess comparable to a hockey goalie, (also, those guys are super athletic) but has a girly streak that’s more like a highway… Let’s call her “Dabney.” 

Now “Dabney” loves to wake up in the morning and shower, and blow dry her hair. In the beginning the noisy hair dryer would wake me up and keep me that way, but recently I noticed that after the sound wakes me, it actually soothes me and puts me right back to sleep. No big deal, right?
Well, the other day, my friend, let’s call her “Moriah,” came into the room to blow-dry her hair because her roommate was sleeping. Of course, I said yes, and let her come in as I surfed the internet. 


I woke up on my keyboard. I then realized that I had been conditioned to fall asleep when hearing hair dryers, much like Pavlov’s dogs uncontrollably salivated when hearing a bell, upon hearing a blow dryer, I fall asleep, and also uncontrollably salivate (but that’s more a personal problem, really).
One of my pastimes is watching makeup tutorials on YouTube.com. (I swear this is pertinent.) Now, I don’t wear makeup, and I don’t really care about makeup, 


but I am fascinated by the transformation of people through makeup, and how people who have almost no personality can become YouTube stars because they know the proper way to apply liquid eyeliner. The video I was watching on this particular day was one teaching me how to make my side swept bangs look like I lightly tousled them in 45 easy steps. At one point between teasing, combing, cutting, primping and ruining the ozone directly above Grove City through copious amounts of hairspray, I was instructed to use my hair dryer. I missed the last 32 instructions.
I didn’t think this was a big problem, but seeing it written in an article is actually making me think that there may be something wrong with me. I was like: this is hilarious! Who falls asleep to hair dryers??? This girl! How unique and rare! And that joviality has now turned into raw fear: Oh, God. I can’t get through anything if someone is drying their hair! What if I’m in the middle of a final and my professor needs to dry his hair? What then? How do you raise your hand and tell them that they can’t dry their hair in the middle of a final? I’m going to fail all my classes and my parents will force me to transfer to an extremely conservative Christian college. No, not again!!! Where is the line? Where did it go??
While this is incredibly daunting, I don’t think that this problem will have any effect on my professional life, unless I decide to work in a hair salon. I would write further on this subject but “Dabney” just started doing her hair.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Updates: Big Doings Around the Blog

As you have probably noticed, this blog has become a sort of cartoon thing... So from now on...
 is going to be...

Yes, that is the best I can do.

Next up, comments have now been enabled! So, you can now leave comments without having a Google ID thing. Annnnnd you should!

Next... I will be posting more often!

That's all!

Monday, March 14, 2011

I AM BECOMING FAMOUS

Okay, everyone who reads this...
I know I haven't posted in a while, and that I'm really pulling a "Joey Rintoul" right now... But you see, I have been busy becoming FAMOUS. That's right- I said it. I am now the college contributer of Crushable.com!
Basically I film myself and my friends doing college things, edit it, and send it in, they publish me!
They put a link to THIS VERY BLOG there... so I'll  put a link to Crushable here.
Voila!


Check it out! I'm popular!

Also on a related note, I'm sure you all remember my somewhat angry post about how Joey Rintoul's webcomic "They All Bleed the Same" hadn't been updated in forever... but it's BACK! So excited! Also, I am pretty sure that I had something to do with it, because Joey's girlfriend, Samantha, found me! She found my blog and left me a wonderful Haiku in a comment! My first comment ever! (I don't count you, Phil.)



And Joey, HIMSELF, the big man with the just as big fake mustache, drew me a comic for myself!!!! He drew me a comic!
It's HERE!!!!!
And I was all...

 
It has been an amazing couple days...