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Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Friday, March 25, 2011

It's Friday

Rebecca Black

   This horse has been beaten into a moist pulp, and you probably have your own opinion about it. Firstly, if you have not heard the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black, or seen the music video, please go here now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 … did you? Good. Just gonna clear a few things up: I am not just going to hate on her. This 13-year-old “won” a contest to cut a song and music video for $2,000. That is fine. She sang (auto-tuned to the point that she sounds like she’s drowning) a song written by the company, not one of her own pieces, the lyrics are not hers. They are the company’s, so I’m going to make fun of those. Not her. Though I could. But honestly, coming from a 20 year old woman, it would just sound petty, and bitchy.
Moving on!
(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark) 
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah 
Yeah, yeah 
Yeah-ah-ah 
Yeah-ah-ah 
Yeah-ah-ah 
Yeah-ah-ah 
Yeah, yeah, yeah 
Great start. I always thought actual words were overrated. This intro reminds me of “Baby” by Justin Beiber except longer and more annoying. If I were watching this with the sound off and just subtitles, I am pretty sure that I would just see “vocalizations” for the first 40 seconds. Link to J-Beebs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kffacxfA7G4 (let’s be honest, though, you KNOW what I’m talking about…)

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning 
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs 
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal 
Seein' everything, the time is goin' 
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin' 
Gotta get down to the bus stop 
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Short of saying the type of milk she uses and detailing the seven outfit changes she had to go through before heading out to the bus stop, this stanza describes the morning. Also, she says she sees her friends in their car. Miss Black, ya 13-year-old, what’re you doing having 16-year-old friends? And why do they look like they’re 12? And you were waiting at the bus stop. Are those kids going to drive you to school? I don’t think so. They’re going to high school, and you're in the 8th grade. Does your mother know that you're not going to school? Do you think she would feel comfortable with you getting in the car with clearly unlicensed drivers, who have no regard for seatbelts or capacity laws? I mean, I know it’s Friday… but come on!

Kickin' in the front seat 
Sittin' in the back seat 
Gotta make my mind up 
Which seat can I take? 
I have no idea which seat you can take. I would suggest you take neither, take the bus, get an education so you can write better songs in the future.

It's Friday, Friday 
Gotta get down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend 
Friday, Friday 
Gettin' down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Fun, fun, fun, fun 
Lookin' forward to the weekend 
When I was 13, I looked forward to One Saturday Morning cartoons. What partying was I doing? …None. But that was 7 years ago, and times have changed… apparently the kids are “partyin, partyin (yeah)” these days which is fine, as long as you don’t repeat fun four times and call it a line in a song, and expect me to know what you mean.

7:45, we're drivin' on the highway 
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly 
Fun, fun, think about fun 
You know what it is 
I got this, you got this 
My friend is by my right, ay 
I got this, you got this 
Now you know it 
Now, its 7:45. Wasn’t it just 7am? I guess I got lost in all the fun, fun, fun, fun. This is assuming that it means 7:45 PM, not 7:45 AM when she should have been at the bus stop, and is instead on the highway. Again, this cryptic “fun” is mentioned. I would love to “think about it” if you would be more specific, no I don’t “know what it is.” Next: “my friend is by my right”--- only one.

Kickin' in the front seat 
Sittin' in the back seat 
Gotta make my mind up 
Which seat can I take? 
If you're cruising down the highway, I really hope that you have already chosen your seat, girl.

It's Friday, Friday 
Gotta get down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend 
Friday, Friday 
Gettin' down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Fun, fun, fun, fun 
Lookin' forward to the weekend 

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday 
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin') 
We-we-we so excited 
We so excited 
We gonna have a ball today 
Tomorrow is Saturday 
And Sunday comes after ... wards 
I don't want this weekend to end 
Dear whoever wrote this song: I thought it was odd that you took the beginning of the song and just describe a morning with an incoherent rhyme scheme. But now this. You're listing the days of the week, and disregarding that English requires verbs to create a complete sentences. We so excited? Are we? And why did you stop listing the days after Sunday? There are three unnamed days that you could turn into another verse of this ballad! And why don’t you want this weekend to end? Didn’t you just say you wanted “time to fly?” Consistency is not important here.
Love,
Paige

R-B, Rebecca Black 
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat) 
In the back seat (In the back seat) 
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah) 
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes 
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!) 
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me 
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream 
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend 
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all 
This part here is a rap breakdown, by some large black man in his car. It doesn’t remotely rhyme, unless you count “lanes” rhyming with “lanes,” and i feel bad that the school bus passing in front of him makes him wanna scream, it’s probably because Rebecca is not on that school bus, as she has decided to drive with her “friends” on the highway.

It's Friday, Friday 
Gotta get down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend 
Friday, Friday 
Gettin' down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Fun, fun, fun, fun 
Lookin' forward to the weekend 

It's Friday, Friday 
Gotta get down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend 
Friday, Friday 
Gettin' down on Friday 
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah) 
Fun, fun, fun, fun 
Lookin' forward to the weekend

Thankfully, that’s the end of the song.

5 comments:

  1. This is really funny. I saw Conan O'Brian do a parody on this song on his show and I cant stop from "seeing" him re-enacting the song out. Your Hilarious! I laughed so hard reading this I cried!

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  2. the black guy wrote the song...

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  3. had to get his own solo didn't he.

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  4. Could be another Usher / Bieber fledgling dynasty in the making.

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  5. What would have happened is she got on the bus? Which seat would she have taken then? Front or back? Right side or left side? Window seat or lane seat? Will we ever know?

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