Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Why Going Home is Awful

Holidays, Brothers, Full Houses
Paige Polesnak
The Collegian Contributing Writer

   This holiday season was pretty hectic at the Polesnak house. We had so many guests it was insane, and very nice, don’t get me wrong. We had my Mexican brother, David (Da-veed. It makes him exotic) who was a hoot and a half. He would not leave my poor, old, morbidly obese dog alone!

And my grandparents…
My big brother fresh in from Mexico… who was still a little confused about exactly what language he should be awkwardly cursing in…
Ginger boyfriend…
Andddd… that’s all I think. Plus, naturally, me and my mom and dad.
All in our lovely Pennsylvania house.
More to come.,. about this fantastic, amazing and terrible holiday.

The Little Mermaid is Spoiled


   The Little Mermaid is a horrible example of a decent female. I have many reasons for believing this, so don't jump just yet, because i will sway you. First off, She is 15 years old! and only wears a shell bra! While I realize she doesn't have a mother as an older female role model, she DOES have a ton of older sisters who should be setting a good example for her.  Next, she is incredibly insubordinate. She disobeys basically the only thing her father asks of her, and embarrasses him in front of the whole underwater sea-people kingdom thing! Which loving father forgave her for, because she is her father's daughter. I wish I was as nice a person as he is, but I am not. 
I feel like she is so spoiled, too! She is so ungrateful for the things she has! Listen, this is from "Part of Your World." (Which, is basically a song of her fantasizing about some man she doesn't know from Adam. He enchanted her with his magic flute playing and dance moves! But, i'm sure we will confront those issues later.)
1.       I’ve got gadgets and gizmos of plenty, I’ve got whoseits and whatsits galore, want to see my thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more.
How we’re meant to see it:

How I see it:

   She has twenty thingamabobs! What else does she need? Instead of being grateful for what she has, she spends the rest of the movie searching for meaning in the arms of a man who obviously has no care for her personality or brain (cause let’s be honest, she didn’t display the most intelligent capacities throughout most of her interactions with Eric throughout the majority of the movie) all stemming from a strained relationship with her father.
2.       Men up on land, they understand. They don’t reprimand their daughters.