Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I almost had Shingles

Oh, Zerbe Health Center...

  So I was feeling sort of sick the other day, in the sense that I hadn’t slept for days, honestly, and I was spending my nights roaming around, organizing things. Things that don’t even belong to me. After two nights of this that blurred into days full of being cranky and being mean to people in general, and an overall Grinch (though when I wrote this originally, I didn’t use the word “Grinch”), I just couldn’t take it anymore, and went to the health center here, at GCC. So I trot on over, and I get looked over by a nurse. So she pushed my tongue down with the thing, and looked at my eyes and took my temperature, and saw this rash I have on my arm and stomach and started making what I call “worried noises.” So I started to panic a little bit, and am not surprised at all when she says:
Nurse: My dear, I regret to inform you that you have (wait for it…) Shingles.
Me: What.
Nurse: Yeah.
Me: But, I had chicken pox as a child!
Nurse: Well… (shuffle thorough about 1,893,759,782,075 papers) …ok I’m going to rediagnose you here… Ok, you have a cold, and dry skin.
Me: …What? Two seconds ago, I had Shingles!
Nurse: And now you have dry skin. All you need to do is apply lotion more frequently—
Me: Yeah, I know how to cure dry skin.
And I got out of there… I almost had shingles today. It felt so dramatic that I’ve told this story to like, 10 people and I am no longer entirely sure how true it is. Keep in mind that I was running on 46 hours without sleep. And also may have been heavily medicated at the time.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Web Comic, MIA

Come back!
   So I have a webcomic that I read all the time, it’s called They All Bleed The Same, and it’s written by Joey Rintoul, (you can check it out here, http://tabts-comic.com/and he doesn’t know who I am or that I read it, but the point is that I DO read it… and he hasn’t updated it in like, twenty years! Okay, it was last updated on December 5th (is that too specific? Am I getting creepy? Yes. Yes, I am.) but that is sooo long in fan time. I mean, if I stopped writing for that long, I can only imagine how many of my fans would be crushed! I realize that people are constantly relying on me for my brilliance and witty insights to everyday life. Thus I have decided to go out of my way to make today’s post special, and make my own web comic out of it!!!!

and I'm like, sweet, I get to write awesome posts, I think of things to write all the time. But first...

I visit the internet for a little bit, and why not, start visiting StumbleUpon.com.

 I finally sit down, determined to write a post instead. Stop the crazy stumbling cycle (also, our lap tops DO have GCC written on the back like that... Don't hate- it was free.)
 And then, I realize I actually have nothing to write about followed by the next realization...
 so I usually just take a nap instead.
 and slowly realize that I may actually not be as hilarious as I thought.
Thus, deciding that it's 0kay that Joey Rintoul hasn't written a web comic in a while. I had no idea of the pressure he was under.