Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Whistling: Horrible and Great

It's Finals

   Whistling is both fantastic and terrible. I love whistling because: 1. I am pretty good at it, 2. Depressed people don’t whistle, so if I’m whistling, life is going better than terribly. Now the problem that comes with whistling is that it is a contagious idea. When I hear someone whistling, I usually come to the slow realization that I am neglecting my own abilities, and begin whistling right along. It is only after about a minute and a half of this more-than-awesome orchestral-type duet that I come to my next realization: That we are not whistling the same thing.
   Not only this, but everyone around us has begun to get incredibly annoyed. This is usually followed by an immediate recession of my whistling, confidence, self esteem, and desire to whistle ever again. In that order. Now, after this ordeal is forgotten, I usually end up hearing a song with some whistling in it (Don’t Worry, Be Happy is a major suspect in this) and think it’s a great idea. This could go one of two ways. I can start whistling a good song, staying on pitch and key OR, I could decide to whistle with my headphones in, horribly and at volumes I cannot realistically gauge considering my current hearing-impaired circumstance.
   I also hate whistling around my friends, because they, then, catch the contagious whistle-lust, and begin to whistle, also. As I said, previously, I am a pretty good whistler. I am a snob and will then stop whistling just so that the other person can stop murdering my sonata. Sometimes, though, I choose to whistle extremely loud, or merely hold the same note until they get the point that I am supreme at whistling, and they should not have challenged such an adversary.
  On a related note, it is exactly 6 AM. It is finals week. I have been awake for about 46-odd hours now. What brought on this blog post was the fact that there is a man sitting in the common study area with his headphones in, whistling. Whistling the same song he has been whistling for the past two hours while his friends discuss World of Warcraft strategy. I am in pain. Short of actually going up to him, and explaining the “studying situation” that everyone else is undergoing, the only retaliation I can think of, speaking in their own language is talking loudly about how my “guild” is “doing some serious empirical studies,” requiring complete “silence” (which is in quotations because I could go for any other sort of noise other than this dude’s whistling. Pigs squealing, perhaps. Silence is not required. “Silence,” that is the absence of whistling, however, is imperative.)
   Then again, I’d probably get called a n00b (which, for the records, Microsoft Word accepted as a real word with arms wide open. No red squiggly marks here!) for using improper verbiage when it comes to WoW. To which, I will proudly announce that I have been kissed, and watch them shrink away in sadness and shame… At least their avatars have been in the pubs lately, chattin’ up all sorts of fly digital honey! (Did I mention it’s 6 AM, and I didn’t get up early, but have rather stayed up late? Twice? Consecutively?)

No comments:

Post a Comment