Dear Girl Who Leaves Her Hair Stuck to the Walls of the Shower,
Thank you for making the shower look like a living, breathing, yet extremely unkempt thing. I can only speculate as to what you are thinking when you stuck your hair to the side in the first place and I can only figure that it is a courtesy to your fellow showerers, so that you do not clog the drain. But regrettably, I must inform you that this thing Isaac Newton invented, “gravity,” is going to make a fool of you. I simply adore the feeling that I want to shave the walls while I’m shaving my legs. Thank you for your creative attempt of saving the drain from being clogged. A+ for concept, F for follow through. So you’re passing: but barely. About par for the course around here these days, isn’t it?