Dear Girls Taking Up the Entire Sidewalk,
Thank you for making me walk in the grass around you. I would have never appreciated the bounty of acorns our most fertile trees have safely deposited all over our campus! If I had walked on the sidewalk, I would have never gotten some of this wonderful campus foliage stuck to the bottom of my shoes and been able to track it all over my dorm room. (As we all know, dried leaves are the herpes of all foliage: once you get it, it is crazy hard to get rid of. No matter how many times you vacuum your room, you are never getting rid of it. You will wake up in the middle of the night, need to go to the bathroom, and end up crunching your way there.) Again, thank you for taking up the whole sidewalk, I would have never noticed how sharp those bushes on the way to the student union building are! Thank you for raising my awareness of the campus.