Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Monday, November 8, 2010

Admit It!

You've Done This
   Oh, man. Did anyone see that? No? Okay… that girl did, but she’s a freshman, so whatever. Oh, man, I’m not doing that again. There are many things that we do on this campus that we don’t want anyone to find out about. Thus, I have created a list of the vanities that we commit within our time here, that everyone really does.
You Have…
·         CHECKED YOURSELF OUT in the mirror-like windows of the Physical Learning Center.
·         MISTOOK the statue of Mr. Pew in the garden by Harbison for a person, he is, admittedly, a creepy looking guy, but compared to most of the men made out of precious metals I know, he’s one of the friendlier. (King Midas, the Tin Man, and C3PO included, of course.)
·         CREEPED on a couple from your dorm room window. You may have even cheered them on. Along these lines, you have definitely seen the couple that insists on saying their goodbyes far beyond their expiration date, and have just slinked into your dorm behind them.
·         BEEN the long-goodbye couple. At least once in your career here at GCC, you have either been one of them, or will be at some point. Please, have your long, creepy goodbye somewhere else. When you get to the door: say goodbye once, hug briefly (if you’ve already “hugged it out” like you should have, it shouldn’t be too tough) and depart to your respective places.
·         BEEN STOPPED by the ridiculously heavy doors in HAL. You have also been trapped holding the door open for about thirty other people entering, frozen, praying someone would take your place, but no one does. At that point, you just wish a panda would come take you out of your misery.
·         MISSED church on a Sunday and wore sweats to Sunday Brunch. I’ve heard it said that this is the Grove City College “Walk of Shame.”
·         PROPPED a door open until the alarm went off. (This is often the result of a long goodbye… just so you can see all the hell that’s breaking loose because of these goodbyes!)
·         BEEN FOOLED by the weather: gotten caught in a torrential downpour, been caught in class when the weather decides to get forty degrees cooler than it was when you first went in, or at least overdressed for how hot it gets midweek, for about an hour.
·         DONE the awkward tray walk. Ok, so there are no spots available, so you go straight to getting your food, and stand around by the drinks, trying to find a free table. You even consider standing close to a table so that it feels so awkward that it HAS to leave.
·         WRITTEN an article for the Collegian, only to have it mercilessly picked apart by some horrendous person who has no idea the extents of your sarcastic humor (named Dayne, in my limited experience) to such an unrecognizable cluster of words that even YOU are unsure as to what you were saying. “Goats? I wrote about Goats? Oh, I was writing about the cafeteria food… or something.”
   Don’t worry though, everyone does these things, they just need to admit it.

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