Hey There Delilah, More Specifically.

A literary parody to the Plain White T's Hey There Delilah.

Greetings, Delilah.

To what can you assimilate New York City?

You’re 354.2 miles away from me, in York, PA,

But tonight, somehow I know that you’re looking good.

And although I continue to be 354.2 miles away, I still know that Times Square is dim tonight, at least in comparison to you. For real.

Greetings, once more, Delilah.

You shouldn’t pay any mind to the fact that I am far from you.

If you get lonely, please feel free to text me, or if I don’t answer, just listen to this song.

Close your eyes and hear me: I’m next to you, figuratively, of course. (I mean: I’m still in York, PA)

Oh, you make me make no sense.

Oh, you make me make no sense.

Yo, Delilah!

I know the Economy’s in the dumps,

But someday, I will be famous for this amazing song.

And I’ll share my money with you. We’ll have an easy, comfortable life. I promise.

Salutations Delilah,

I still have much poetic energy within me.

If everything I ever told you would make you hyperventilate, I’d do it anyway.

And since you’re into that sort of thing, you will become even more infatuate with me, and that’s everything to me.

Oh, you make me make no sense.

Oh, you make me make no sense.

354.2 miles may seem like an insurmountable distance but there are inventions (trains, planes and automobiles) such that significantly cut travel time down.

And I’ll walk to you in the off chance one cannot be temporarily commandeered.

Our friends don’t understand love, but we’ll forgive their ignorance. Why are we friends with them anyways?

Delilah, I can promise you, that when we die, the world will be a mess. And since you’re the woman, I’m blaming you.

What’s up, Delilah?

I want to tell you not to miss me but I am desperate for attention,

Short term, you’ll be graduating relatively soon, and I’ll be making history. I’ve done it before!

And you’ll know that it’s just a part of my attempt to impress you.

And we can do what we want as ignorant teenagers.

Are you paying attention, Delilah? I’m toasting you!

This power chord is for you.

Oh, you make me talk like a crazy person,

Oh, you make me talk like a crazy person. Like a lunatic.