Welcome to my blog! If I were you, I'd read the section titled "Read this First" on the right-hand side of your screen... It will help you understand exactly why this blog is hilarious. If not, however, just read on as you see fit, and though you may not understand the humor, you can at least indulge in my impeccable vocabulary.
- Paige

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Females: We WILL be Late

Dealing With It
Getting ready for a date is an incredibly stressful and worrisome prospect here at GCC. You never know whether things are really “dates” or just hanging out with a friend, or if you both just had similar plans for the day. Needless to say dating on this campus is a mess. Thus, some leniencies must be allowed when your date is preparing herself.
So please understand our anxiety at this prospect! It would be best if you did not get upset… but just plan on us being late. Here are a few translations for you… if we say “five minutes” it means “half hour.” If we ask how we look, and you say “fine,” we take it as a synonym for “bad,” and it will take us another “five minutes” to get into an outfit we feel completely confident in.
I’m sorry that we cannot just roll out of bed, put on what we wore yesterday, and think that’s okay. We have standards because if you didn’t like how we look, you probably wouldn’t have asked us out in the first place. So if we go to our 8, 9, and 10 AM classes looking like a mess, I would like to reserve the right for us to look at least somewhat decent on our way to lunch. That may mean that you need to wait. But upon our arrival, you’re probably going to like the way that we look. We are not trying to be disrespectful. We are just trying to look good enough that makes you want to stick around for a few more dates. So we would love it if you would reciprocate the effort. If we agreed to this date, there is definitely a reason beyond your immediate looks, but they probably aren’t too shabby either.
Some women I used to know back in the day, were all about making their dates wait, just “five minutes.” It wasn’t so much a disrespect thing but a test of how much they really want this date to work out… I, not being the kind of female to torment a respectable man, have never done this sort of thing. However, I have been purposefully late to places, so that I wouldn’t be the first person to arrive, and so that I wouldn’t be the one awkwardly waiting there… It is a horrible feeling I get when I receive the message that my date needs to reschedule, when my other friends run into me and asking who I’m waiting for, while I could have just been late and not needed to make the effort. I feel the same way about being let in to intervis: I’ll call that I’m outside waiting to be let in before I get there, just so I don’t have to look like the creeper waiting outside for someone just to exit so I can swoop in.)
I don’t really think the issue here is a lack of respect going on here so much as a desire to be wanted, and appreciated for our efforts. If anyone wants to talk about this some further, I’ll let you know when I have an extra “five minutes” to sort this out... I’m sure it’ll be “fine.”
Some Things You Can Do to Cope with Our Lateness:
  1. Call us earlier and say you're on your way!
  2. Bring something to do while waiting for us. Resurrect your GameBoy!
  3. Revel in the fact that we now must apologize for being late- how often do we do that?
  4. Look in the mirror. Are you up to our standard? No? Take this time to make that cowlick sit still!
  5. Come up with a compliment to deliver immediately upon our arrival. This will prevent a relapse in our confidence, and lull us into a sense of security. Enjoy!

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